Friday, March 23, 2007


Neighborhood kids & basketball

For the autumn long past

Just so then I can fool people by saying that I came back from the Mediterranean Sea ...

Sakura is in town! (if only I can afford that pink little dandy thingy from Sony-style ...)

3:30 pm・ChikaLicious・a pot of hot french-pressed

Village Vanguard in its post-performance hue

120th St. @ 7:12 am

梅ちゃん at 1:52:00 PM



春天到了!(thank goodness ...)




梅ちゃん at 5:42:00 AM


Sunday, March 18, 2007

The Voice

The other day at lunch I had a fascinating conversation with M. Having once claimed World History one of my favorite classes in high school and spent many nights reading through that thick European history of the 20th C book (yes, A? the one with extremely tiny font size and a crimson cover if I recall correctly) in IBH History class, I'm surprised to realize that my knowledge of European history really hasn't advanced much since.

M shared with me the experiences of his grandparents generation undergoing WWII and I asked of the current situation of the Jewish population residing in Germany. "I think most of the people who had gone through that period of time really don't like to talk about it. In fact, most of the gestures of reflections and repentance came when the following generation started to dig out this past and questioned the history that the previous generation so much wanted to forget," M said.

This is a similar statement that I've heard in respect to the generation of Chinese people undergoing the Cultural Revolution or the Japanese wartime aggression across East/South East Asia in the first half of the 20th C. When I lived in China, I was always shock to find how little some of my peers know about their parents experiences of relocating to the countryside as "zhi qing" (知青) and part of the 上山下鄉 movement or how their parents could remain silent for ages when it was something that turned their entire world upside down.

Today at lunch J and I were talking about the possibility of literature offering a slide of reality that historians may never be able to fully re-represent years later. Historians may have the hindsight to offer the causes and factors that lead to the rise and fall of a glorious or traumatic past; however, literature exists for the purpose of recording a much more first-hand and intimate response to a event or historical tide at the moment of its occurrence. To me, one provides a grand-scale of perspective whereas the other extends deep into one's heart and soul as an individual voice that can't nor shall ever be reduced to a few lines/phrases/paragraphs that generations later recorded in, say, a wikipedia entry.

It's a voice, a voice of individuality, that rises and cries out and immediately stays there, frozen in time and space, only awaiting for a few pair of curious eyes or ears to again pay attention to its power and weight and lends it validity for its courage to rise and cry out loud at that moment in time.

Why am I studying the thing I'm studying, this thing called literature? Is it truly for the understanding of the collective of the individual voices or - after all - I'm merely trying to find the very voice of my own, as if I haven't found it or have found it yet have not mastered the exact way of expressing it?

Does it even matter?

It does, to me at least. Just like I'm always curious about the love story of a newly-wed couple (thanks TI and J for the fascinating recount of their romance last night!) and am always resilient in asking questions after questions about one's favorite childhood snack or the CM song still remembered, stories and memories of the past are infinite fascinations to me.

And perhaps just to repay my indebted gratitude towards those who've been there to share with me their fascinating stories of the past/present either in person or through the power of language, I hope to one day add my own slice of pie to the grand narrative and offer up a story that sparks off a great laugh, a more inspired mind, if not a drop of tear from those who care to spare that minute or two.

「傳承吧,這或許就是人生的意義」Mom likes to say. Guess the next big question is ... Where and how shall that voice be found?

梅ちゃん at 6:12:00 AM


Friday, March 09, 2007


昨晚看了Warren Beatty於1981年自導自演的電影"Reds"。明明是持續的生病虛脫狀態,但是看到前半CD末尾,當背景演奏著著動人的國際歌、螢幕上Bolshevik Revolution裡俄國工人勞動者與革命家對創造一個brave new world滿懷著理想、執著與熱情時,原先的疲憊與睡意完全消失。

下半張CD描述的是革命激情退去之後,美麗新世界的幻滅與措敗感。John Reed不死心的回到了俄國,還在做著能得到共產國際的認同與支持的美夢,與Emma Goldman爭論著革命的理想與目標未死,只要權力被歸還給人民的那天來到。

然而,John Reed畢竟不是個革命政治家。"You write, John!" 在Reed執意回到俄國去付諸他的革命理想前夕,他的太太Louise Bryant如此提醒著他。"Why can't you just stick to what you are good at? You are not a revolutionary, you are a writer!" 帶著"I'll be back before Christmas"的承諾,Reed就此踏上了不歸路。








I know.

梅ちゃん at 6:15:00 AM


Friday, March 02, 2007

Beauty and Its Infinite Possibilities


每回去紐約的時候都會很認真的想想這個title還有職業的需求。不曉得從何時開始我對耳環有很深的迷戀。不光是自己家裡蒐集的耳環數量甚多,每回一經過街頭的arts and crafts fair或是spring fling之類有著無數手工藝品攤位的neighborhood festival,我都會特別在手工珠寶飾品的小攤前流連忘返,非得把所有攤位逛完了一圈才能滿意的離開。大學一年級穿了耳洞之後更是開心,終於可以好好嘗試各種有趣的耳環,特別是那種叮鈴咚噹掛了許多纖小彩石的垂掛式耳飾。


That's essentially what art is about, isn't it? To present the indescribable, and to embody the beauty and aesthetics that could only be felt by the heart and soul?


I wouldn't even care if I never become an in-house designer for Tiffany & Co.

Life is full of possibilities, if only there's enough time for them all.

梅ちゃん at 4:32:00 AM