Friday, March 23, 2007
NYC・記錄
Neighborhood kids & basketball
For the autumn long past
Just so then I can fool people by saying that I came back from the Mediterranean Sea ...
Sakura is in town! (if only I can afford that pink little dandy thingy from Sony-style ...)
3:30 pm・ChikaLicious・a pot of hot french-pressed
Village Vanguard in its post-performance hue
120th St. @ 7:12 am
梅ちゃん at 1:52:00 PM
決心
春天到了！(thank goodness ...)新季節、新氣象、新決心：一定要好好努力攝影。
先從整理iPhoto裡25000多張的照片開始吧！
http://dacafe.petit.cc/
感動（淚）！
梅ちゃん at 5:42:00 AM
Sunday, March 18, 2007
The Voice
The other day at lunch I had a fascinating conversation with M. Having once claimed World History one of my favorite classes in high school and spent many nights reading through that thick European history of the 20th C book (yes, A? the one with extremely tiny font size and a crimson cover if I recall correctly) in IBH History class, I'm surprised to realize that my knowledge of European history really hasn't advanced much since.M shared with me the experiences of his grandparents generation undergoing WWII and I asked of the current situation of the Jewish population residing in Germany. "I think most of the people who had gone through that period of time really don't like to talk about it. In fact, most of the gestures of reflections and repentance came when the following generation started to dig out this past and questioned the history that the previous generation so much wanted to forget," M said.
This is a similar statement that I've heard in respect to the generation of Chinese people undergoing the Cultural Revolution or the Japanese wartime aggression across East/South East Asia in the first half of the 20th C. When I lived in China, I was always shock to find how little some of my peers know about their parents experiences of relocating to the countryside as "zhi qing" (知青) and part of the 上山下鄉 movement or how their parents could remain silent for ages when it was something that turned their entire world upside down.
Today at lunch J and I were talking about the possibility of literature offering a slide of reality that historians may never be able to fully re-represent years later. Historians may have the hindsight to offer the causes and factors that lead to the rise and fall of a glorious or traumatic past; however, literature exists for the purpose of recording a much more first-hand and intimate response to a event or historical tide at the moment of its occurrence. To me, one provides a grand-scale of perspective whereas the other extends deep into one's heart and soul as an individual voice that can't nor shall ever be reduced to a few lines/phrases/paragraphs that generations later recorded in, say, a wikipedia entry.
It's a voice, a voice of individuality, that rises and cries out and immediately stays there, frozen in time and space, only awaiting for a few pair of curious eyes or ears to again pay attention to its power and weight and lends it validity for its courage to rise and cry out loud at that moment in time.
Why am I studying the thing I'm studying, this thing called literature? Is it truly for the understanding of the collective of the individual voices or - after all - I'm merely trying to find the very voice of my own, as if I haven't found it or have found it yet have not mastered the exact way of expressing it?
Does it even matter?
It does, to me at least. Just like I'm always curious about the love story of a newly-wed couple (thanks TI and J for the fascinating recount of their romance last night!) and am always resilient in asking questions after questions about one's favorite childhood snack or the CM song still remembered, stories and memories of the past are infinite fascinations to me.
And perhaps just to repay my indebted gratitude towards those who've been there to share with me their fascinating stories of the past/present either in person or through the power of language, I hope to one day add my own slice of pie to the grand narrative and offer up a story that sparks off a great laugh, a more inspired mind, if not a drop of tear from those who care to spare that minute or two.
「傳承吧，這或許就是人生的意義」Mom likes to say. Guess the next big question is ... Where and how shall that voice be found?
梅ちゃん at 6:12:00 AM
Friday, March 09, 2007
即使在看似如此平凡的當下
昨晚看了Warren Beatty於1981年自導自演的電影"Reds"。明明是持續的生病虛脫狀態，但是看到前半CD末尾，當背景演奏著著動人的國際歌、螢幕上Bolshevik Revolution裡俄國工人勞動者與革命家對創造一個brave new world滿懷著理想、執著與熱情時，原先的疲憊與睡意完全消失。下半張CD描述的是革命激情退去之後，美麗新世界的幻滅與措敗感。John Reed不死心的回到了俄國，還在做著能得到共產國際的認同與支持的美夢，與Emma Goldman爭論著革命的理想與目標未死，只要權力被歸還給人民的那天來到。
然而，John Reed畢竟不是個革命政治家。"You write, John!" 在Reed執意回到俄國去付諸他的革命理想前夕，他的太太Louise Bryant如此提醒著他。"Why can't you just stick to what you are good at? You are not a revolutionary, you are a writer!" 帶著"I'll be back before Christmas"的承諾，Reed就此踏上了不歸路。
承諾成了張無法兌現的空頭支票，如同他的理想也永無那實現的一天。
歷史容許我們去理性地回顧或是以充滿了智慧的眼光去檢討過去。然而活在沒有著歷史指點的「當下」，人們或許只能被單純的理想和熱情支持著繼續前進，即使那份信念最終可能會引領到一個比先前更灰暗的世界。
Reed他後悔嗎？Louise呢？
我不曉得Reed他是否後悔，但可以確信的是，早先就看到這條不歸路的Louise仍然選擇了同樣的道路。為的不是Reed的澎湃與激昂的革命理想，而是為了愛。
若是電影中的描述忠於史實的話，那份愛讓我深深感動。
那個特殊的革命年代或已離我們遠去。但我仍然相信，那種堅韌執著的愛依舊存在，即使在看似如此平凡的當下。
「畢竟還是個關於愛的電影」，你說。
I know.
梅ちゃん at 6:15:00 AM
Friday, March 02, 2007
Beauty and Its Infinite Possibilities
「珠寶設計師」每回去紐約的時候都會很認真的想想這個title還有職業的需求。不曉得從何時開始我對耳環有很深的迷戀。不光是自己家裡蒐集的耳環數量甚多，每回一經過街頭的arts and crafts fair或是spring fling之類有著無數手工藝品攤位的neighborhood festival，我都會特別在手工珠寶飾品的小攤前流連忘返，非得把所有攤位逛完了一圈才能滿意的離開。大學一年級穿了耳洞之後更是開心，終於可以好好嘗試各種有趣的耳環，特別是那種叮鈴咚噹掛了許多纖小彩石的垂掛式耳飾。
然而，除去了佩帶的實用價值不說，真正引起我對珠寶飾品的迷戀的是背後那支撐的設計原創力和美學的深層張力。常常想像一件作品在形成之初，設計師在腦內想像著成品之線條、弧度、材質、光彩和佩帶時的舒適度等等的種種構思過程。如何在既有的model裡創造出驚人的嶄新設計，如何用單一的顏色或材質做出富有變化的美感。如何將在博物館裡看到的一幅中古世紀的繪畫精髓具體地在一條項鍊呈現出來，又如何將在看了一棟極現代的建築大樓之後，將那份感動和重新激發出的美學想像濃縮到一個小小的戒指刻痕上。
That's essentially what art is about, isn't it? To present the indescribable, and to embody the beauty and aesthetics that could only be felt by the heart and soul?
想想，人生真是美好，有如此富有挑戰與創意性的工作。哪天博士班念不完、寫作的才能枯竭、或發現自己對攝影的夢想也不過是一場空想的話，我想我就去報名學習做珠寶設計好了，將心裡對美的印象一筆一劃地在張空白的紙上畫下，再築構出一個優雅的飾品。
I wouldn't even care if I never become an in-house designer for Tiffany & Co.
Life is full of possibilities, if only there's enough time for them all.
梅ちゃん at 4:32:00 AM